Living Unafraid

All of my life has included fears, obviously different ones as I got older but one that I've really struggled with is the fear of being left alone. I've always seen it in my worst nightmares and wrestled with the reality of how much it happens today.
Love, for many people, is what works for them and what pleases them. The minute that it gets hard or flaws are finally found, our world encourages us to stand up and say " I deserve better" and "I'm gonna find someone who will love me better." And that's what happens- people leave each other behind because they finally see the inescapable fact that no one is perfect.
But if we look at true love, at it's Source, we will find something different. Love is so much more than what America advertises. Love is sacrificial, unselfish, thoughtful, and prayerful.
Jesus' love for the world was not what our culture advertises. It wasn't an attraction, but a desire and a passion to save. It was a selfless perfect love that says "I know your faults, and I know you can't even come to me because you've stayed so far...But I. Chose. You."
God's love isn't the infatuation our culture worships but the unfailing cherishing love that makes new. The romance between Jesus and His Bride has been an amazing hope, especially for someone like me, because God sees my imperfections and calls me perfect. He sees my unfaithfulness but He is faithful. He knows I stray but He'll never leave. He stays. God will stay no matter who or what leaves, and that's why I can trust- I can trust in every situation, He's in control, not just an onlooker. He causes things to happen and things to leave for me to show me that He Never Will. Love Him so much. Just an encouragement to you all that God will always keep you and always delight I you because you are BEAUTIFUL and PRECIOUS to Him.
"I will never leave you or forsake you." - God❤

Crying Fake Tears

I was watching the news yesterday, and it was too much for me. Reporters were everywhere, kids were crying and everyone was trying to pick up the pieces of what happened in Connecticut. The thing that got to me though, was when a man and his wife were walking to there car, the wife trying to consol him. Then the man, who was clearly older, couldn't take anymore and just collapsed in the parking lot on his knees....I couldn't take it any more.

 

I was only watching TV. That was when I broke down. Just that morning our family was having a discussion about bying Christmas presents, but not worrying about how much they cost and not focusing on the gifts. Suddenly those gifts didn't mean anything to me anymore. Nothing did. All I kept thinking was why haven't I been a better sister and daughter and friend?And why wasn't I that kid? Why did it happen to them not me? Then, seeing the grief that that man was suffering, I was so guilty. Why have I been living this way? Why am I complaining when there are literally people going through so much heartache that I can hardly watch it from hundreds of miles away?

What if I had been that older sister who lost her little sibling without warning?

 

My little sister Macey and I were shopping for Christmas presents that day, and she was excited and started to pull my cart, and I just told her to stop. What if that had been the last thing I said to her? Why am I so self-absorbed that I don't notice that those little things that I so easily let them get on my nerves are the things that I'm gonna miss someday? Because Macey's not gonna be so little forever. All this seems like it's too much for us to bear and too much to grasp, but there is hope.

 

Today I heard that one little boy who understood what was going on did something amazing. He didn't complain that he was about to be shot-he didn't get mad at God for letting this happen-he didn't even panick. After the shooting the police that went in to investigate found a note from this little boy to his parents saying that he was sorry for being a bad son and he loved them, and that he was going to see them in Heaven one day. During all the chaos and darkness and seemingly hopelessness, this little boy found peace and rest in the One who he trusted in with his whole heart. He knew where he was going and wanted people to know that. What an amazing kid.

 

We look at this story and get upset and confused and feel like we know what's best, but that little kid didn't. He got it. He knew what life is about and he wanted us to know too. Life is a gift, but eternal life is better. How do we live such self-absorbed lives knowing what God is saving for us?? We can cry all we want, but it's all in vein unless we do something about it. Life is so short-what are we going to do with it?

 

All I wanna do right now is to cherish those little moments with family, running down stairs to greet Dad when he gets home from work, laughing with Mom at a funny blog post, laughing at Lilly when she's out of her mind, holding Macey's tiny hand while walking around at Target. God is calling all of us to something big, but our biggest calling from Him is to love our neighbors, to love the world and everyone He's put in our lives, because we might not get tomorrow.

And while we love everyone around us we need to not judge God for letting something like this happen, but to humbly sing praises to Him through our tears.

Remember to pray for all those families in Connecticut that God will use this to bring many to Him.

 

 "I lift up my hands to believe again. You are my Refuge. You are my Strength. As

I pour out my heart, these things I remember, You are faithful God forver."

-K

I Killed Jesus

Ok so last night was a TERRIBLE night with my back so I decided to go to bed early. I put the covers over my head cuz it was still like really bright outside and tried to fall asleep. After trying for almost an hour, Macey walked in my room and took the covers off my head. You have to understand, I had had a LONG day and I DESERVED a peaceful sleep WITH the covers over my head... So when she took them off, I got mad. I said, "Really, Macey!?" Then, she answered, "oh, I didn't know you were awake, I just wanted to make sure you could breath. It didn't look like it from the door," SMILING. Then I thought back to the sermon I listened to last week. He talked about getting rid of letting so many things make us mad, because God certainly didn't let His anger out on us when we killed His only Son... III killed Jesus! I bit my tongue. I almost cried, and I don't cry. I walked upstairs the other morning after I worked out and saw Macey in her room alone. She didn't see me. She got her brush and looked in her jewelry box mirror and started brushing her hair- she was so innocent-looking, and in that moment, I just wished I could be a better sister to her. What kind of sister AM I!? God put this beautiful, tiny, sweet ball of energy in my life and I just automatically think that I deserve my space and my time and my privacy!! I KILLED JESUS, and He blesses me with an amazing little girl who somehow looks up to ME. And I don't even think, "oh, maybe she's just checking on me," or when she asks to play with me: ,"Maybe she just wants to be with me,"
even though honestly, I'm not probly enjoyable to be around. She asked me to come outside with her, and without a thought, I just said no. What am I thinking!? Why am I always te center of my world!? Why aren't I focused on living for the one that died for me ( or living like it!?) I'm all nice around my friends, and when I get home, I unleash all my frustration on my family. I KILLED JESUS. I don't deserve to be here!! So Im just gonna challenge myself and you all to just remember what amazing gifts out siblings are and do something to make their day better today:) I KILLED JESUS- I need to take MY cross and follow His example.
-k

Macey

Ok just had to say this. so the other night i had to sleep in macey's room because of my room getting redone... so first she gives us her bed for me to sleep in, then in the middle of the night, i guess i was having a nightmare and she woke me up and said, "katie, wake up; i think you're having a bad dream. i just wanted to let you wake up because i had a bad dream too, and i don't like them :)" so sweet. i felt AWFUL because that night i was really grumpy and mean to her, and all she wanted to do was be in the same room with me. i was thinking she'd be keeping me up, but i guess i kept her up. she's so amazing, and i'm sooo blessed:)
k

Good Friday

I think that today is really the best day of the year for US. Today, I woke up in a bad mood and ate breakfast and then, I remembered what today is. I can't believe that I can wake  up on a Friday that I don't have to do school and that I get to go to church and not worry about being persecuted and be with my family and just enjoy. Can you? Today, of all days, I should be the one that is thankful! I mean, I get upset and yell at my sisters when they walk in my room! JESUS never had some place he could call home. I yelp when someone accidentally hurts me. JESUS was hurt purposfully. I'm stubborn, and I never give in to what I want. JESUS gave his life freely and served everyone he saw. I get mad when I bump into something. Jesus got pushed to a cross. I judge people for little things that get on my nerves. JESUS asked God to forgive the people that crucified Him. He asked God to forgive us!!! WE are guilty. WE were there, yelling and screaming for His death. WE are still doing it today when we're afraid to talk about him. WE do it when we treat others wrongly, or don't forgive them, because what we do to others we do to Christ. How much easier then, is it to lay all of our anger and bitterness and stubborness and pain on Him. If we do that, it's gone. Jesus took it on Himself. All we have to do it lay it at His feet. Are we willing to do that? Or are we chanting "Crucify Him!" in our hearts?? Are we willing to get true joy, because Jesus was willing to go to the cross. I hope that today can just be a reminder of how much Jesus loves us, and that every day after we can remember to love Him back by loving eachother.
K

"On days when life is difficult and I feel overwhelmed, as I do fairly

often, it helps to remember in my prayers that all God requires of me is to

trust Him and be His friend. I find I can do that."

-Bruce Larson